The Hiperbolic Cheonsa

2019, December 7th. Malam berganti malam selanjutnya. Pandangan ku masih nanar. Senang berganti senang selanjutnya. Pilu ku terbagi. Senang berganti sedih selanjutnya. Pilu mu mengiringi. Dan sedih, tidak pernah berganti ke sedih selanjutnya. They just keep growing. With me that keep drowning. Sedih ku begitu pilu. Sedih mu pula. Tidak perlu bertanya ada apa, hanya peluk aku dan sadarkan aku bahwa “Keep breathing, sadness is such a breath too.” Alasan kesedihan kita berbeda tapi rasa sedih di dalam diri kita sama. Diam-diam menenggelamkan kita dan terus membisikkan kalimat jahanam. Thanks to those who cheering up. That’s working. Aku tahu, kita tahu, Tidak ada yang namanya pelipur lara. Maka dari itu,  "Keep breathing even your’re start to crying. Cry is such a breath too."  -Camomile

Holla! It's me, Cantika! Tonight, i will tell you a story of me in 2019. It's me, a 19 years old girl. Name, Cantika. It was summer, no rain. But tears is everywhere. Finally, my wishes come true.  (2019 of C) #1 Come to an University as a MABA, yeay! If you read my last or maybe the first entry, you will know how frustrated i was. Being declined many times, a lil bit depresion and .. lost. Shortly i passed the test with good result for UTBK. Unfortunately, the good result is nothing than the best result. But this time, no tears drop, no cry, no drama.. When they said that i was failed, i just chuckles. I remembered where i checked the announcement. It was PGS. SBMPTN? Failed. So i decided to take Mandiri in UNS but i didn't paid for the UANG PANGKAL. As you know, i was failed too there. Then, it's time to me to enroll in Vokasi Unair. No drama at all, i enrolled myself in the last of the day. Test. And didn't had a feeling about it. But ...

Dearest man, kamu regret yesterday tidak? Balikpapan, 28 Maret.